We lost our precious lil' love to AML Leukemia on March 8, 2010. As an incredibly strong family unit, we fought this horrid disease for 2 1/2 years........only for it to come back a fourth time to finally claim Hunter's life. Zen and I are truly devastated and the beautiful light that used to brighten our days and enhance our souls, no longer exists. Our hearts are truly and forever broken. We have a long journey ahead of us, but we are committed and devoted to surviving and living our life embracing Hunter's amazing spirit. With tremendous honor, we will carry on his legacy of love, his legacy of courage and his remarkable ambition to live strong, live fearlessly and live with passion.

You will remain forever in our hearts baby love. We carry you with us every moment of every hour of every day.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Love and Devotion

What's working for us right now is the love and devotion that Zen and I have towards each others healing. Despite the overwhelming amounts of sadness that sneaks up on us and brings us to our knees in our puddles of tears, we are somehow able to comfort one another and save each other from drowning. Sometimes he rescues me, sometimes I rescue him, and sometimes we just swim around in our tears with our eyes closed tight, wishing desperately that when we open them, Hunter will be standing there in front of us, smiling and giggling, letting us know that he's home to stay.

But he's not there. He's never going to be there again, standing in front of us, smiling and giggling.........and that's what's NOT working for us. We're devastated. We're sad, we're angry, we're hurt and overall.........we are just not happy with the way that Hunter's life ended. And our life used to be nothing BUT happiness. And all of a sudden, it's taking a whole lot of effort to just find some genuine smiles within our days that last longer than a few seconds. There is a looming cloud of sadness that hangs over our souls and it's ever so present and so not enjoyable. Zen and I still share a good bit of laughter together, but that laughter is always chased by our reality...........and our reality right now is every parents worst nightmare.

This was our wedding day. One of the last happiest days of our lives. Zen and I had already been together for 5 years when we gave birth to Hunter. He proposed in December of 2005 and we got pregnant in January of 2006. Hunter was born Sept. 21st that same year. We got married a year later and Hunter fell sick within a month. Our lives would soon be forever changed.......


  1. Beautiful wedding pictures...you can see you were meant to be together. The pictures of Hunter are amazing. Beautiful boy - incredible, expressive eyes. I'm so happy you have such a strong bond of love and that you are able to support each other in such a horrific situation.

  2. Hunter was born in 2007? So he was only 2 1/2 when he passed away? Poor little precious.... I think of you all often...

  3. Your wedding was most beautiful! Hunter is just so handsome.. picture after picture he is just so beautiful!

    SO many hugs to you and Zen.


  4. Hilde Burm -
    this is how real love looks...

  5. Tami Sullivan -
    i'm so glad you two have each other, it's obvious you have a beautiful marriage.

  6. Vikki Jensen -
    you are both amazing. it's so clear that you bring each other so much love and strength.enjoy your trip.

  7. Laurie Baker Sienko -
    As has been said -- your love radiates and is so very inspiring. ♥

  8. Christian Leffler -
    Congratulations! You look beautiful. and i mean beautiful, inspired by one another.

  9. Holly Smiekel -
    Love your wedding pics- you look beautiful!!!

  10. Nicola Kosciuk-Galassi -
    papparazzi wedding! what a great day that was!!

  11. Patricia Smith -
    awe! You guys had a beautiful wedding!

  12. Carlina Terrana Womeldorph -
    Just beautiful!!

  13. Matt Nolan -
    What an amazing day that was! The ceremony was all heart. Sending healing vibes your way, everyday!

  14. Jodi Fung -
    this was such a romantic and sweet day! loved being a part of it my dear friends! :)

  15. Jacqueline Cannon Collot -
    simply beautiful

  16. Terry Robertson Ince -
    Love the photos of your wedding and your beautiful family... xxoo