We lost our precious lil' love to AML Leukemia on March 8, 2010. As an incredibly strong family unit, we fought this horrid disease for 2 1/2 years........only for it to come back a fourth time to finally claim Hunter's life. Zen and I are truly devastated and the beautiful light that used to brighten our days and enhance our souls, no longer exists. Our hearts are truly and forever broken. We have a long journey ahead of us, but we are committed and devoted to surviving and living our life embracing Hunter's amazing spirit. With tremendous honor, we will carry on his legacy of love, his legacy of courage and his remarkable ambition to live strong, live fearlessly and live with passion.
You will remain forever in our hearts baby love. We carry you with us every moment of every hour of every day.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Love and Devotion
What's working for us right now is the love and devotion that Zen and I have towards each others healing. Despite the overwhelming amounts of sadness that sneaks up on us and brings us to our knees in our puddles of tears, we are somehow able to comfort one another and save each other from drowning. Sometimes he rescues me, sometimes I rescue him, and sometimes we just swim around in our tears with our eyes closed tight, wishing desperately that when we open them, Hunter will be standing there in front of us, smiling and giggling, letting us know that he's home to stay.
But he's not there. He's never going to be there again, standing in front of us, smiling and giggling.........and that's what's NOT working for us. We're devastated. We're sad, we're angry, we're hurt and overall.........we are just not happy with the way that Hunter's life ended. And our life used to be nothing BUT happiness. And all of a sudden, it's taking a whole lot of effort to just find some genuine smiles within our days that last longer than a few seconds. There is a looming cloud of sadness that hangs over our souls and it's ever so present and so not enjoyable. Zen and I still share a good bit of laughter together, but that laughter is always chased by our reality...........and our reality right now is every parents worst nightmare.
This was our wedding day. One of the last happiest days of our lives. Zen and I had already been together for 5 years when we gave birth to Hunter. He proposed in December of 2005 and we got pregnant in January of 2006. Hunter was born Sept. 21st that same year. We got married a year later and Hunter fell sick within a month. Our lives would soon be forever changed.......
Click on the VIDEO'S below to view "giggling Hunter". To enlarge to full screen, click on the rectangular box in the right hand corner after you hit the play button. For the YouTube videos, just double click the video and it will take you to the video full size.
There are many "silent" followers of our blogs. Thank you so much for reading and posting comments......they are always read and forever appreciated. We feel extremely loved and very fortunate to have so many people looking out for us, sharing their hearts and keeping us in their thoughts. If you'd like to instantly receive blog updates, become a follower and you'll receive them as I post them. Much love,
When I think of my child, when I think of my pain.....I think of the wisdom I've ultimately gained. There's so much sweetness, when I smile through my tears, and there's nothing I'd give up, after all these years.....(Hunter's Mom - L. Davis)